(We stopped outside of a pizza place. ELMO put the truck in park and slipped down from the seat. I quickly followed.)
ELMO: I haven’t eaten food in eleven days.
ME: I know for a fact that isn’t true.
ELMO: Incorrect. I have been fasting for eleven days as it says to in the bible that I have.
ME: You’re religious.
ME: You’re breaking your fast with pizza?
ELMO: “And verily did Jesus say, hand tossed deep dish thin crust and anal leakage-“
ME: I will wait in the car.
ELMO: “and neither shall you partake of the flesh of the emu, for the emu is in trangression with the meteroid Helen - the fierecest of all meteoroids and also Jesus’s possessive ex-girlfriend.”
(ELMO continued reciting to himself as he walked into the pizza place.)