(Elmo hopped out of the truck and crouched down to pat Jason on the back.)
Elmo: Man, you hearing these heaving-type sobs, whitey?
Me: Are you addressing me?
Elmo: Get your foolish ass out here and fetch me some twine from the security guard man inside.
Me: I don’t think the security guard -
Elmo: Write me a sonnet about your thoughts and maybe also nature and the night stars later, foolish fool -
(When Elmo became redundant I knew it was no time to cross him. I went inside. Strangely, the guard did in fact have twine.
Elmo took the twine from my hands and began binding Jason’s limbs.)
Elmo: (singing) Ima sing a song, a binding song, about how I hog-tied my friend and uterus-brother-type-guy. Ima sing a song, a Jason song, and then I’m gonna do him like I would an uppity homeless pig maaaaaaan.
Me: Why are you tying him up? Is he okay?
Elmo: Some ornery bastards such as calicos think that they can fool you with their tears. But I know the mark of the beast when I see it.
(ELMO kicked Jason in the abdomen.)
Elmo: Your salt sways me not, troll fucker!
Me: Did that guy really fuck trolls?
Elmo: Let’s eat his wig hair.
Me: We are going to get arrested.
Elmo: Don’t you know I run this world?
Jason: (singing quietly to himself) ‘Ima sing a song, a Jason song….’