Me: Hey look - this girl I know named Laura did this draw of you.
Elmo: What the heck of a kind of shit ass shirt is that which I am wearing there?
Me: Oh. Well. It just says you love me.
Elmo: Don’t love you , don’t wear shirts - it’s common knowledge from science that I gotta rock my nips or else all of fluids will dry and I will leave no rightful heir.
Me: I don’t think boy cats have nipples.
ELMO: YOU WANNA ARGUE WITH THESE ROCK HARD TANTOS?
Me: No. No I do not.